Lyrics
Old Music Hall Songs

Any Umberellas

Toora luma luma, toora luma luma, toora ly aye
Any umberellas any umberellas to mend today?
Bring your parasol it may be small, it may be big
I can mend them all with what you call a thingamyjig.
Pitter patter patter, pitter patter patter, here comes the rain
Let it pitter patter, let it pitter patter don't mind the rain.
I'll mend your umbrellas and go on my way singing
Toora luma luma toora lye, toora luma luma toora lye
Any umberellas to mend today?

The Barrer Boy Song

Up the apples and pears and across the Rory o'Moore
Up to see me dear old trouble and strife.
On the Cain and Abel you will always see
A pair of Jack the Rippers and a cup of Rosie Lee.
What could be better than this, a bit of a cuddle and kiss
Out beneath the pale moonlight.
When little Tommy Tucker goes up to Uncle Ned
Blows out the 'Arry Randle and a jolly good night instead.

All me life I wanted to be a barrer boy,
A barrer boy I've always wanted to be.
I wheels me barrer, I pushes it with pride,
I'm a coster, a coster, from over the other side.
I turns me back on all the old society
I'm going where the ripe bananas grow.
I sells 'em a dozen a shilling, that's 'ow I makes me living,
I ought to 'ave been a barrer boy years ago.
(Get off me barrer!)
I ought to 'ave been a barrer boy years ago.

Barefoot Days

Verse: Surely you remember those days that used to be
When your Dad and mother, they sang sweet songs to thee
We got all dressed up spick and span and off to church we ran
But the very best days of all
Were when we had no shoes at all:-
CHORUS: Barefoot days, when we were just a couple of kids (Get your bowler out)
Barefoot days, oh boy the things we did.
Down by a shady nook, with a bent pin for a hook.
We fished all day, we fished all night
But the blooming old fish refused to bite.
And off we'd slide, down some old cellar door
We'd slip and slide till our clothes were tore, a little more
Then we'd have to go home, get into bed
While mother got busy with a needle and thread
Oh boy, what joy, we had in barefoot days.

Boiled Beef and Carrots

Boiled Beef and Carrots, boiled beef and carrots,
That's the stuff for yer Derby Kell
Keeps you fit and keeps you well.
Don't live like vegetarians on food they give to parrots.
From noon to night blow out your kite
On boiled beef and carrots.

Burlington Bertie from Bow

From: "John Groushko" 
Subject: Burlington Bertie from Bow
Date: Wed, 21 Apr 1999 22:12:37 +0100

Hi there!

I was doing some research into the words to this song and found your web-site. 
 This was particularly helpful (thank you) as it told me the correct full title as above.
 From this I was able to track down an old printed edition of the full lyric.
I have pasted this below in case you do not already have it.
 The writer of words and music is credited as William Hargreaves 
and the song appears to date from 1915.

BURLINGTON BERTIE FROM BOW

I'm Bert
P'raps you've heard of me
Bert
You've had word of me,
Jogging along 
Hearty and strong
Living on plates of fresh air

I dress up in fashion 
And when I am feeling depressed 
I shave from my cuff all the whiskers and fluff
Stick my hat on and toddle up West

I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten thirty 
and saunter along like a toff
I walk down the Strand with my gloves on my hand 
Then I walk down again with them off
I'm all airs and graces correct easy paces 
Without  food so long I've forgot where my face is
I'm Bert, Bert, I haven't a shirt 
But my people are well off you know. 
Nearly everyone knows me from Smith to Lord Rosebr'y, 
I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow.

I stroll
With Lord Hurlington,
Roll 
In The Burlington
Call for Champagne
Walk out again
Come back and borrow the ink
I live most expensive 
Like Tom Lipton I'm in the swim
He's got so much 'oof' he sleeps on the roof
And I live in the room over him.

I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten thirty 
And saunter along Temple Bar
As round there I skip 
I keep shouting 'Pip Pip!'
And the darn'd fools think I'm in my car
At Rothschild's I swank it
My body I plank it 
On his front door step with 'The Mail' for a blanket
I'm Bert, Bert, and Rothschild was hurt
He said ' You can't sleep there' I said 'Oh'
He said 'I'm Rothschild sonny!' I said 'That's damn'd funny
I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow'

I smile
Condescendingly 
While they're extending me 
Cheer upon cheer
When I appear 
Captain with my polo team
So strict are my people
They're William the Conqueror's strain
If they ever knew I'd been talking to you
Why they'd never look at me again

I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten thirty 
And reach Kempton park around three
I stand by the rail, when a horse is for sale
And you ought to see Wooton watch me
I lean on some awning while Lord Derby's yawning
Then he bids two thousand and I bid Good Morning
I'm Bert, Bert, I'd buy one,  a Cert
But where would I keep it you know
I can't let my man see me in bed with a gee-gee
I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow!

My pose,
Tho' ironical 
Shows 
That my monocle
Holds up my face, keeps it in place,
Stops it from slipping away.
Cigars,
I smoke thousands, 
I usually deal in The Strand 
But you've got to take care when you're getting them there 
Or some idiot might stand on your hand.

I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten thirty 
And Buckingham Palace I view.
I stand in the yard while they're changing the guard 
And the queen shouts across "Toodle oo"!
The Prince of Wales' brother along with some other
Slaps me on the back and says "Come and see Mother"
But I'm Bert, Bert, and royalty's hurt, 
When they ask me to dine I say no.
I've just had a banana with Lady Diana 
I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow.

Best, John
(Thank you John)

Call Round Any old Time

Call round any old time and make yourself at home,
Put your feet on the mantelshelf,
Open the cupboard and help yourself.
I don't care if your friends have left you all alone.
Rich or poor
Open the door 
And make yourself at home.

Emmalina

Oh how I love my little Emmelina
But how I wish she was a little cleaner,
You ought to see her washing day
Then she'd steal your heart away,
Dirty little Emmelina Brown

Fall in and Follow Me

Fall in and follow me, fall in and follow me!
Come along and never mind the weather,
Altogether, stand on me boys,
I know the way to go,
I'll take you for a spree.
You do as I do and you'll do right,
Fall in and follow me!

Emmalina

Oh how I love my little Emmelina
But how I wish she was a little cleaner,
You ought to see her washing day
Then she'd steal your heart away,
Dirty little Emmelina Brown

Ginger, You're Barmy!

Don't walk about wivout yer cady on,  Ginger, you're barmy!
Get yer ‘air cut, they all begin to cry
Wiv nuffin' on your napper oh, you are pie!
Pies must ‘ave a little bit o' crust
Why don't yer join the army?
If you want to look a don you want a bit of somefing on, Ginger, you're barmy!

I Had a Hat When I Came In

I lift up my finger and say "Tweet Tweet"

I lift up my finger and I say 
"Tweet tweet, shush shush, now now, come come!"
I don't need to linger when I say 
"Tweet tweet, shush shush, now now, come come!"
When the baby screams and scatters my dreams
Do I start to sing or hum?
No! I lift up my finger and I say
"Tweet tweet, shush shush, now now, come come!"

It's a Great Big Shame

It's a great big shame and if she belonged to me
I'd let 'er know oo's oo.
Nagging at a feller what is six foot free
And 'er only four foot two.
They 'adn't been married not a month nor more
When underneaf 'er fumb goes Jim.
Isn't it a pity that the likes of 'er
Should put upon the likes of 'im.

Let's All Go Down The Strand

From: sally 
Date: January 22, 2009 
To: bob@londonbobby.com
Subject: Lyrics for your website--correction, too!

Hi! Love the website-- Let's All Go Down the Strand has more lyrics than you've posted. I grew up with a Stanley Holloway Sings
 record, these are the full lyrics from his recorded version. -Sally (Thanks, Sally)


"Let's all Go down the Strand"

One night, half a dozen tourists, 
Met together in Trafalgar Square
A fortnight's tour of the Continent was planned,
And each held his Cornetto in his hand.

Down the Rhine, they meant to have a picnic,
When Jones said, "I must decline. 
Boys you'll be advised by me,
Stay away from Germany.
What's the good of going down the Rhine?"

Chorus: Let's All go down the Strand ('ave a banana)
Let's all go down the Strand.
I'll be leader, you can march behind,
Come with me and see what we can find.

Let's all go down the Strand ('ave a banana)
Let's all go down the Strand.
That's the place for fun and noise
All among the girls and boys --so
Let's all go down the Strand.

A Little Bit of Cucumber

I like pickled onions, I like Picalilly,
Pickled cabbage is all right 
Wiv a bit of cold meet on a Sunday night.
I can go tomaters but what I do prefer
Is a little bit of cucum-, I come, you come,
Little bit of cucumber!

Mary Ellen at the Church

Mary Ellen at the church turned up, her pa turned up, her ma turned up
Her great big brother Bert and her sister Gert
The vicar in his long white shirt turned up
But no bridegroom with the ring turned up
Just a telegraph boy with his nose turned up
Brought a telegram that said
He didn't want to wed
And you'll find him in the river with his toes turned up.

MY OLD DUTCH

I've got a pal, a regular out an' outer.
She's a dear old gal, an' I'll tell you all about 'er;
It's forty years since fust we met, 
Her hair was then as black as jet.
It's whiter now, but she don't fret
Not my old gal.

We've been together now for forty years
An' it don't seem a day too much.
There ain't a lady living in the land
As I'd swap for me dear old Dutch.
No, there ain't a lady living in the land
As I'd swap for me dear old Dutch.

Susanna's a Funnical Man

There was an old man and he had an old sow
(snort) ow! (raspberry) ow! (whistle) Tiddley ow
There was an old man and he had an old sow
(snort) ow! (raspberry) ow! (whistle) Tiddley ow
Rossel de ray, de row, oh!
Susanna's a funnical man
(snort) an! (raspberry) an! (whistle) Tiddley an
Susanna's a funnical man.

She tried to climb over the garden wall
(snort) all! (raspberry) all! (whistle) Tiddley all
She tried to climb over the garden wall
(snort) all! (raspberry) all! (whistle) Tiddley all
Rossel de ray, de row, oh!
Susanna's a funnical man
(snort) an! (raspberry) an! (whistle) Tiddley an
Susanna's a funnical man.

WHEN I TAKE MY MORNING PROMENADE

Since Mother Eve in the Garden long ago
Started the fashion, fashion's been a passion,
Eve wore a costume we might describe as brief,
Still every season brought its change of leaf.
She'd stare if she could come to town, 
Oh! what would Mother Eve think of my new Parisian gown?

Chorus:

When I take my morning promenade;
Quite a fashion card, on the Promenade.
Oh! I don't mind nice boys staring hard,
If it satisfies their desire.
Do you think my dress is a little bit,
Just a little bit -
Well not too much of it,
Tho' it shows my shape just a little bit,
That's the little bit the boys admire.

Fancy the girls in the prehistoric days
Each wore a bearskin covering her fair skin,
Lately Salome has charmed us to be sure,
Wearing some rows of beads and not much more.
Fancy my dressing like that, too,
The 'Daily Mirror' man would surely want an interview.

Chorus

I've heard my Grandmother wore the crinoline,
Then came the bustle Oh! it was a tussle,
Women were tied up and loaded up with dress,
Now, fashion plates decree we must wear less.
Each year our costume grows more brief,
I wonder when we'll get back to the good old fashioned leaf?

Chorus

Where did you get that 'at?

Where did you get that 'at? Where did you get that tile?
Isn't it a knobby one and just the proper style.
I should like to 'ave one, just the same as that,
Where 'ere I go they'd shout, "'Ello!
Where did you get that 'at?"